Be strong. Be proud.

I stand by my motto - Be Strong in Mind, Muscle and Heart - so much so, I have affectionately named my blogspot after it.  My goal is to practice this motto in every aspect of my life. At work, at play, in the gym, and everywhere in between. To me, it means, you have to stand up and be tough enough to be you without caring about whether the world will agree, it means to push yourself outside of your comfort zone and do the things you don't want to do because those are the things that will make you stronger and you must step up and do all of it without becoming numb to challenge.


Social media has pigeonholed us into this world where we try to make everyone else think our lives are so grand because, naturally, we only post the highlights of our lives and ignore the in-between daily struggles. It creates this ugly cycle where we compare ourselves to other’s highpoints and we beat down our own successes because they don’t seem as grand.


Stop that.


Stop comparing yourself to others.


Everyone struggles. Everyone has insecurities. Nobody is perfect.


Read that last line again.


Take Dana Linn Bailey for example. This is a world-renowned fitness model; Ms. Physique Olympia! I was introduced to her story via social media because I became addicted to her husband’s music. My go-to Power Lifting playlist consists of all the tracks by Rob Baily and the Hustle Standard. Following Rob Bailey, led to following Dana Linn Bailey…and there you have it. Like most fitness models she owns her physique and is proud of her accomplishments so there are a lot of pictures of her flexing her flawless 6-pack abs.


Recently, she posted a blog that caught me totally off-guard. This girl, Ms. Physique Olympia, has insecurities too! But she owns them. In this blog, she admits that she puts herself out there on social media so she needs to be ready to accept the good and the bad comments. She understands that not everyone appreciates what she has accomplished. They call her manly, some call her gross, they try and beat her down but she has learned to overcome the negativity and be proud of who she is, “Once you have that confidence, nobody can take that away from you, unless you let them.”


She is strong in mind through her commitment to the strict lifestyle, she is strong in muscle pushing to new milestones in the gym and on stage year-after-year. But most importantly, she is strong in heart, allowing herself to feel emotionally connected to the sport and all of her accomplishments. She is grounded in where she has been and where she is now, and recognizes that nobody is perfect. Ms. Physique Olympia says it herself – there is no perfect human body.


Everyone struggles. Everyone has insecurities. Nobody is perfect.
Another example I want to share is with my dear friend Nathan Ross Jones aka “Bones Jones” who is a sweet 16 year old badass who is another great example of this motto at play.  Go back to high school, do you remember how difficult it was to be accepted as an individual in high school? Nate lives his life going against the grain, he rocks a bow tie and sits with kids who sit alone in the lunch room because he doesn’t want people to feel left out. He has been playing varsity soccer since he was a freshman, getting stronger and faster, always a leader on the field. He shows people respect and makes them feel good about who they are, but some try to bring him down for it.


This year, a loud underclassman came up to him on the first day of school and in a lame attempt to embarrass him said “Hey, my friends want to know if you’re gay!” and without skipping a bit, Nate patted him on the shoulder and said “You and half the school pal” and just kept walking. He didn’t let that guy bait him, he left the guy standing there feeling like a fool. Later Nate laughed about it, telling his mom “…and so what if I was? That kid is going to have a rough 4 years if that is how he is going to act in high school.”


Nate is strong in mind by remaining grounded in accepting that everyone has their own struggles; he is strong in muscle by pushing himself through boundaries to constantly improve his skill on the field in an attempt to stand out as a scholarship-worthy athlete and he is strong in heart through his compassion for people and his willingness to love everyone for their uniqueness.


I recently shared a music video of Taylor Swift’s new song Shake it off – the lesson is the same. If you watch the music video it shows a variety of different stereotypes and dance styles. Taylor is featured in all of them, trying to fit-in; she is trying to twerk, trying to do ballet, street battling, cheerleading... and she just looks silly. Finally, at the end of the video, she is featured with everyday people, having fun dancing however they feel most comfortable, their own way. Taylor’s overall “Shake it off” message is supporting the motto. Be strong in mind, muscle and heart by knowing who you are, and having the courage to be you regardless of whether or not people like it. You want to be happy? Live your life YOUR WAY not a copy of what the world tells you to be.


The very best version of you, is the one who breaks free of influence and finds the inner confidence to realize you don’t need other’s approval.
Now, just because I am posting this blog, doesn’t mean I have it all figured out. I don’t know what the secret ingredient is to finding that inner confidence and I would be willing to bet that the recipe is different for all of my friends. But I think simply coming together and recognizing that everyone struggles, everyone has insecurities and nobody is perfect is the framework to start building yourself up. Be proud of who you are and all that you have accomplished. The only person you should compare yourself is the person you were yesterday.


Today’s struggle is tomorrow’s strength.


Be strong, but most importantly, be proud.